Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Home is Where the Heart Is

Home is Where the Heart is…

When I graduated in May, the thought of staying in one place and starting a real job kinda scared me. I wanted to travel and gain more experiences in life before starting a real job and becoming responsible for a classroom full of little kids. So I choose to come to Mexico with a friend and get some different experiences. I didn’t really know what to expect when I moved down to Mexico. I just knew that the first four weeks in Mexico would be consumed with a class to certify me to teach English as a foreign language. I found a job that sounded really great and an apartment that was nice as well. It seemed everything was working out well. I thought that I might even stay a full school year and work at the school. But things don’t always work out that way.
Bethany soon realized what she really wanted to do and it wasn’t work in Mexico teaching English. She’s been trying to decide what graduate program to go into with her Bachelor’s in Psychology and finally realized what she wanted to do while she was in Mexico. Grad school admission requirements would be a little hard to fulfill out of the country. She soon decided to go back home and work on getting all her paperwork in and try to start school in the Spring. I, on the other hand, didn’t know what I was going to do at this point. One of the things I hate most is being alone. I don’t have to have someone at my side doing everything with me but I find comfort in knowing that someone will be there if I ever need anything. I had met some friends while being in Mexico and became quite close with the first two people I met in Mexico. Both of those people had an apartment and were also planning on leaving around November/December. My plan was to try and stick it out at least until then. At this point, my best friend left and culture shock was certainly hitting me big time. I wanted the comfort of family, friends, and the U.S. I was also getting bombarded with work at the school and realizing how hard it would be to actually make a difference there. Schools are run much much differently than what I was used to in the U.S.
I recently got very sick and a couple days to lie in bed. I couldn’t do anything because I felt so terrible. I realized what amazing friends God put in my life. They got medicine and food for me, kept me company while running a fever and coughing, and took me to the hospital to see the doctor. I also realized what I really wanted. After calling work one afternoon to check up on them and hearing how disappointed the school was that I didn’t come to work, I decided I wasn’t going to work there anymore. I had a ticket to fly home for Thanksgiving and I wasn’t interested in coming back. Rent was going to be due again the 10th of November, so I decided instead of paying rent until Thanksgiving I would just move my ticket up to the 10th and come home. My mom is, of course, thrilled that I’m coming home since I call her crying every night. I don’t know what will happen in the spring, but I’m putting my trust in God and praying for something.
While being away, I’ve come to the realization that I really do want to “settle down” and stay in one spot for a while. I feel like a nomad constantly packing my bags and moving. It’s exhausting! I’m ready to stay in one spot for a while, get decorations for my place, unpack my bags and know that I won’t have to pack them up again for a good while. Working as an English coordinator over other teachers has also made me realized just how much I like being IN the classroom with my students and teaching them. I am ready to get into a school and teach again! I’ve realized how much I miss the U.S. I know that I haven’t given Guadalajara much time and I’ve had a great time here, but I do miss home. I miss the convenience of having a car and being able to go wherever I want. I believe everything happens for a reason. I’m sad that being in Guadalajara hasn’t worked out, but I’m also excited to get home. I’m ready to see my family and friends.
In the meantime, Nora (my roommate) and I have a competition going… who can find and take pictures of the most neck-braces before we leave. We're also gathering stuff that we don't want to take home and making a pile for the homeless. We try to take something in our purse every time we walk out at night. Last night I gave a lady a sweater and a cup of instant noodles. It's quite fun.